Options...

I am ready to give up.

I don't even know who I am anymore. I have such ill feelings for everyone. I am ready to snap.

It's time to look into other options... what I'm doing isn't working.

There really aren't that many options out there though.

I hate the eating disorder clinic in town... it's a complete waste of time. They want me to go to St. Paul's hospital inpatient program, but even if I agreed to go, it wouldn't happen right away. I would still be stuck living like this for another couple of months. I don't know if it would be more beneficial or harmful to me? I don't know if I am prepared to leave the kids for two to three months either.

Another option is a private clinic, but again, I would have to leave for an extended period of time, and it would cost a lot of money.

The last option is to just let anorexia/bulimia win, and let it kill me one way or another.

I have no idea what to do. All I know is that I can't keep living like this...