Big Mistake

I made the biggest mistake I could have made today. After eleven months of avoiding the scale at home, I weighed myself this morning. And not only did I decide to do that, but I decided to use a fucking hoopty scale. 111lbs. My heart dropped into the pit of my stomach. I freaked. There is no way I can weigh that much. No way. No way. No way. It just can't be possible. I don't feel that big. The scale has to be messed up. Of course Dena doesn't email me back to give me peace of mind, and I don't see Sara until Monday. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Why did I do such a stupid thing? It's the scale. My clothes and everything else tell otherwise. I can't be that far off in my head. I thought I was between 100-105lbs and hoping to be closer to the smaller end of that range. Why am I so stupid?